


Story of a Boy

by garfunkelandgoats



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Oblivious Steve, idk whether or not you interpret steve as loving bucky back is up to you, mentions of peggy carter - Freeform, mentions of steve's mom, possibly unrequited love??, sad bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3925120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garfunkelandgoats/pseuds/garfunkelandgoats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a boy with frail bones and a heart too big for his chest, and all Bucky knows is that he is more important than anything else in the world. From day one (from shredded knees and a bloody nose and fiery eyes), it becomes his mission to keep the boy with the sunshine smile safe and happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Story of a Boy

6,205 days before

 

There is a boy with frail bones and a heart too big for his chest, and all Bucky knows is that he is more important than anything else in the world. From day one (from shredded knees and a bloody nose and fiery eyes), it becomes his mission to keep the boy with the sunshine smile safe and happy. 

Bucky knows from the moment the boy refuses his help with a furrowed brow and reddened ears. Bucky has always known.

Steve is just as stubborn a child as a man, with a kind heart that makes Bucky's chest tighten affectionately.

Steve is a natural born hero, a beautiful soul from the very start. He has delicate features and eyes full of stars and Bucky loves him so much it hurts.

 

3,650 days before

 

There is a boy with lungs that don't work and a crying mother who's running out of hope and all Bucky knows is that he can't lose Him, _anybody but Him, please God just take me instead_. Winter comes, bringing with it a killing cold that leaves Steve with a violently rattling cough and a deathly pallor that scares Bucky half to death. 

There is no doctor willing to make the trek through the vicious biting snow storm, no priest, no help. There is no one in any position to help Him that cares enough to try, and his only hope is miles away, but Bucky has a mission and he must comply because Steve is to be protected at all costs. 

Even if 'all costs' means wrapping himself in as many layers as he can and stepping out into the brutally cold night to walk for hours as his fingers and toes go numb. 

Bucky does not care about that, though, because when he returns with the medicine Steve can breathe properly and everything is alright again.

 

2,555 days before

 

There is a boy with a split lip and bruised ribs who wants to save the whole damn world and all Bucky knows is that worrying about Steve is going to send him to an early grave. Bucky has taken to checking down every alley he passes just in case he needs to come to His rescue again. Bucky loves him for his foolish bravery, but sometimes he wishes that He would just stay down for once.

 

1,095 days before

 

There is a boy who none of the dames will dance with, who lingers at the edge of every crowd, hunched in on himself. Bucky doesn't know why no one will give Him a chance, because he loves everything about Steve and _there's a girl out there for you somewhere, pal, these other dames don't deserve you_. 

 

730 days before

 

There is a boy who wants more than anything to go to war, who would jump at the call if it ever came, and Bucky feels selfishly grateful that the Army won't take him off to war, because he knows that Steve wouldn't make it out there. 

 

Bucky is called off to fight soon after, and he drowns his sorrows in an alley and cries out in frustration, eyes squeezes shut against the tears that won't stop coming because he can't leave Steve _he won't survive the winter, how can he when he won't be able to work, I can't leave him he needs me_.

When Bucky returns home he plasters a grin to his face and hides the letter from Steve, proudly announcing that he enlisted. 

Bucky ships out at the end of the week with a heavy heart and a sinking suspicion that he'll never see that skinny little punk ever again.

 

610 days before

 

There is a boy who Bucky misses more than anything and when everyone starts talking about the women waiting for them at home he talks about his sweetheart, a skinny young punk named Stephanie with a heart of gold and an iron will and he almost lets himself believe that he can marry his beloved if and when he returns to the States.

 

356 days before

 

There is a boy. There is pain. There is James Buchanan Barnes 32557038 There is a boy and Bucky is afraid, so afraid _oh god please let me die please make it stop I can't I can't I can't_ that the

PAINPAINPAINPAIN32557038JAMESBUCHANANBARNESOFTHE107th32557038

will corrupt the memory of the boy

32557038 _with you to the endoftheline, pal, you don't have to, don't leave me Steve please not you I can't lose you_

Bucky begs for death and he screams and screams and screams and screams and screams until suddenly he sees the sun and he doesn't care if he falls into the sea he never much cared for flying anyhow because Steve is here but he's gigantic and Bucky wonders what's even the point of him if Steve doesn't need protecting anymore.

And Bucky is changed and will never be whole again and he knows that he's broken but he doesn't give a fiddler's fart because _stevestevesteve_

 

7 days before

 

There is a boy--no, a man now--who looks at Peggy Carter like she hangs the moon and Bucky hates himself for the jealousy that settles like a rock in his belly and so he drinks and tries to hide the bitterness inside of him because he knows that Steve hasn't needed him for a long time.

 

1 day before

 

There is a man who wants to marry Peggy Carter when he goes home and Bucky swallows his bitterness and looks Steve right in the eyes and says that he's happy for him. Because Steve deserves to be happy with a dame who sees him for the beautiful soul he really is, and even if Bucky can't ever have him, that's okay because Steve will be happy with Peggy and they can have a life together and Bucky had become unneeded in Steve's life anyways.

 

But that was okay, they were going to be okay, and Bucky would have to be content with watching from a distance and drowning his sorrows because what purpose did he serve now that Steve was strong and happy and in love? 

 

0 days before

 

There is a man who cries out for Bucky, offering a hand with fear in his eyes, and Bucky feels the railing break and he thinks _thank god it was me, not you_ as he falls

 

down

 

down

 

down.

 

25,550 days after

 

There is a man on the bridge with sorrow in his eyes and a wavering voice and all The Asset knows is that he must die.


End file.
